⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀awk here we go again
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀here I go again on ma ain
that’s a gid song aht
⠀⠀wee bitta whitesnake
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hing on
⠀⠀⠀⠀ahts detractin fae ma point
⠀⠀aht hings distractin me again
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wae its mad ginger tail
⠀⠀flickin aboot aw ooer the joint lit a feather duster
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ let me journey back
⠀⠀⠀⠀aht foax ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀is back again
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ye ken thi wan
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀mockin me ⠀⠀⠀so it is
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀well no this year pal
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀her maw n dah are ooer
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀sa the wains are entertained
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀climbin aw ooer thair heeds
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀lit wee spider monkeys
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀scoffin quality street
⠀⠀⠀⠀n makin stain glass windaes oot thi wrappers
keep thum occupado for a while
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀no payin attention tae whit am dain
⠀⠀⠀⠀ah wis prepared this year ⠀⠀⠀⠀so ah wis
ah might still have her pink goonie on ⠀⠀⠀standard
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀but ah’ve no goat the slippers oan this time
⠀⠀⠀ah’ve goat ma bits oan n ah dont care anymare
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀aht hings gettin hunted
⠀⠀⠀⠀it scampers across ma grass
⠀⠀⠀coated wae that thick frost
thi kind aht crunches unner yer bits lit gravel
⠀⠀n there’s a fog creepin lit sumhin ootta silent hill
⠀⠀⠀⠀n aht foax is balancin up oan its hind legs
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀front paws oan ma bin
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀readin fur tippin the hing
well no this time bucko
⠀⠀⠀⠀ahm just aboot tae charge oot there
⠀⠀three day auld daily record in haun
bits strapped onto ma freezing tootsies
⠀⠀⠀huntin this hing oot ma gairden once n fur aw
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀but here
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀just as ah go fur the door
⠀⠀⠀⠀wee pebbles paws at ma trooser leg
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀she kens whit ahm lukin at
we caw her pebbles like the wee yin in the flintstones
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀on account ae her rid hair
she’s goat a leftovers piece in her other wee paw
⠀⠀⠀⠀turkey n squashed stuffin n pigs n blankits
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n cranberry sauce ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀gadz
⠀⠀⠀⠀ n gravy n bacon chucked in fur gid measure
a cacophonous combo ae the horrid food aht comes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wae this mingin festive season
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀she’s sayin
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀dah dah mon we’ll gee a piece
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ tae the wee foaxes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀tae the foaxes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀is she
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀kiddin me oan?
⠀⠀but wae her suddenly sleepy wee eyes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀n aht wee face
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ah can hardly say naw cin ah
⠀⠀⠀⠀we totter oot thi backdoor n thairs thi menace
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thi beast aht mocks me
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀comes back here n laughs aht me
⠀⠀ thi vermin aht plagues ma dreams ⠀⠀⠀so it does
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n we ur walkin across the grass
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀n it freezes n stares at us
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n a single wee club slinks oot fae behin it
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀it’s got pure fuzzy mockit fur
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wee pebbles lets go ae ma haun
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀mon dah dah
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀shes sayin
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀bold as ye like
⠀⠀⠀⠀she’s ooer thair in her wee barbie wellies
⠀⠀extendin her paw tae the wee fuzzy ginger pups
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n placin the piece on the grass pure gentle
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀crouchin doon next tae the foaxes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀she makes aht chi-chi noise
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the same noise she makes tae thi cat
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n they look at me
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀as if fur permission
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀n patter closer tae hur
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀until she cin gee thum a wee clap
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀they munch away oan thi piece n
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀after a while ah go ooer
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀even end up clappin thi wee hings
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wid ye believe
⠀⠀⠀⠀thi wee cubs wid melt a black hert ⠀⠀⠀so they wid
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair pure wispy fur
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n thair lit a wrickle ah bones unnerneath
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair needin fed dah dah
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀she’s sayin
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀bless her wee cotton soakes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n here
⠀ye wilny believe this
⠀⠀⠀day after boxin day
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair ah um
⠀⠀⠀⠀sittin outside oan the grass
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀in the freezing cauld
⠀⠀⠀⠀hearin thi wains blarin the grinch oan the telly
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wan leftoor piece n guess whit am dain
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ waitin oan these foaxes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n sure enough
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀they poke thair heeds oot fae the hedge
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀bold as ye like
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n thair oor aht ma feet
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀tearin throo thi turkey n bacon
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀aye fair enough
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀awrite ah’ll allow it
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀happy new year bois
What do you think of foaxes 2? Let me know in the comment section below. Read the original foaxes poem here.
sophie. 